How to stand up to a bully even if your voice is shaking
Resistance 101
Dear CSTers,
I’ve been getting a lot of speaking requests lately from folks interested in learning more about how to do resistance. How to resist the meanness and racism and misogyny that was unleashed in the USA after the presidential election. These assholes are doomed… but in the meantime, we resist.
You don’t have to be an armed resister like Hannie Schaft and the Oversteegen sisters to make a difference, though. As I learned while researching TO DIE BEAUTIFUL / THE GIRL WITH THE RED HAIR, no act of resistance is too small.
For instance, it was only when I finally saw the house where Hannie Schaft’s courageous parents sheltered two Jewish students during WW2 that I realized her parents hadn’t succeeded in their resistance alone. Hannie’s house was a duplex; her home shared a wall with the house next door. And, just like that, I realized there was another resister here: the next door neighbors. They must have suspected there were twice as many people in the Schaft home, twice the laundry hanging outside, twice the groceries to buy. But they never said a word. Just that—a decision NOT to report the Schafts to the SS—was a huge act of silent resistance that helped protect those Jewish students.
So, at a recent speaking engagement I was asked, “What do we DO to resist? How do we start?” It’s a good question.
Yes, I encourage everyone to go to protests (like the 50-state “Hands Off!” protest this weekend on April 5). to call their elected representatives (often!), and boycott the business of the billionaires who are trying to strip this country for parts.
But there’s a simple form of direct action you can take, if you are confronted with a person who is saying something offensive and you are in earshot.
Just ask them politely, “Could you please repeat that?” or words to that effect—even if your voice is shaking. I did this a few weeks ago at a gas station.
A man in front of me in line muttered something about “immigrants” and “deportation.” The bad vibes were strong. I wasn’t sure anyone else heard him, but I spoke up anyway.
“I’m sorry, I missed that,” I said to the man. “Could you repeat that?”
The man turned around with a scowl on his face, which scared me more. Then he realized the other people in line were suddenly alert, waiting to hear his response. The scowl changed and he just shook his head, refusing to say another word.
And that’s it. That’s all resistance is: providing even the smallest bit of pushback and a public reality check to these jerks. To let them know it’s not OK. To let bystanders know it’s not OK.
Ask them to repeat themselves. They usually won’t. Because anti-immigrant, racist, sexist, homophobic values aren’t worth standing up for. And they know it.
See you at the April 5 protests! Let’s fight these fascists.
xo Buzzy